How To Get Your Ex Back After A Breakup

So you’ve broken up with your ex and now you want them back. It’s a time-honored tradition, but it doesn’t mean that getting an ex-back is easy or guaranteed. You have to show them that they made a mistake by a breakup with you, but not in an aggressive or desperate way, that will only make things worse. Instead of begging at their door like a crazy person and trying to get their attention in any way possible.

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Follow these steps for how to win back your ex after a breakup:

Don’t contact your ex.

In no way, shape or form should you attempt to make contact with your ex. They don’t want to hear from you,  they’ve made that clear by breaking up with you in the first place,  so don’t even think about asking them why they did it or what it would take for them to come back. If they really wanted to be with you, then they would have asked themselves these questions and figured out how to address any issues that were causing problems in the relationship before ending things with you.

Don’t text them. Don’t message them on social media sites like Facebook or Instagram (or anywhere else for that matter). Don’t call their phone number and leave messages on voicemail either; when someone breaks up with someone else, part of what makes it feel so final is having no access left over from those days when things were good between two individuals before their romantic relationship came crashing down around them like a house built on sand instead of concrete blocks…er…something sturdy enough so as not resemble something flimsy and weak like paper machete handles made out of cardboard boxes.

Give them space.

When your ex is feeling vulnerable and hurt, you’re going to want to do anything possible to comfort them. This means reaching out, trying to fix things, and trying everything else in order to get them back.

However, these actions are often the wrong ones because they can come across as needy or desperate. If an ex feels like a breakup was their fault or that they were the bad guy/girl in the relationship then they may not be ready for contact from you just yet.

Instead of trying too hard at this point in time, allow them space when it comes down to it. Give them time alone so that they can heal emotionally and mentally before attempting any contact with them again (and don’t forget: no texting.).

Figure out the real reason why they broke up with you.

If you want to get your ex back, you need to first figure out why they broke up with you in the first place. The best way to do this is by asking them directly. If that doesn’t work, ask some of your mutual friends and family members if they know what happened between the two of you. Chances are someone will have an idea, especially if it was a recent breakup.

If none of that works for you, then look at what happened during the breakup as clues about why things ended between you and whether there’s still hope for reconciliation down the road. Was there any chance whatsoever that things could go back to being good between the two of you? Could it happen again now? What can each person do differently moving forward?

Fix the problem and work on yourself.

  • Spend some time thinking about why the relationship ended and what could have been done differently.
  • Work on yourself. Don’t just focus on your ex-girlfriend; instead, focus on yourself, your career, and other things that are important to you.
  • Don’t blame yourself for the breakup, she probably broke up with you for a reason that has nothing to do with who or how you are. But it’s still important not to take this too personally, she may have simply made a mistake in choosing someone like you over all else (e.g., if she broke up because she didn’t love herself enough).

Hang out with them without trying to reconcile.

So, you’ve decided to hang out with your ex. Great. Hangouts can be as long or short as you want, but if there are no stakes, it’s easier to just relax and be yourself. Plus, hanging out can help remind them of the good times you had together, and maybe even inspire them to start missing those good times again.

Here’s what not to do: Don’t talk about the breakup at all (unless they bring it up). Don’t try to convince them that you should get back together (even if this is true). And don’t come across like a clingy freak who doesn’t know when it’s time for him or her to move on either; this will only make things worse in the long run.


In the end, there is no right or wrong way to get your ex back. You can try any of these tips and see what works for you. The key is to remember that there is no one size fits all solution when it comes to relationships, so don’t be afraid if something doesn’t work out. It’s important not just for getting an ex back but also in every other area of life as well – so keep trying until you find what works best for both parties involved in any given situation 🙂

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